When Veterans Day came around this year, we asked the girls what they did at school to mark the special day. After getting a few details, we asked Jordy to sing her favorite American patriotic song so she took a deep breath and sang:
“Oh beautiful … Oh spacious bride.”
That’s where the song ended. With us all laughing.
This is not the normal thing I would post in this blog – especially after the one of the girls’ frogs died yesterday – but I saw this 
letter and drawing on Ella’s bedside table this morning and loved it!
The letter is sweet. Here’s a little girl who lost her pet and is sad. So since it’s a magical time of the year, why not ask Santa for something special.
The picture she drew at the bottom of the letter totally cracks me up!
I’ve got a couple of weddings throughout this month and next that I’ll be officiating at, so I was practicing at the dinner table tonight by “marrying” Meg and Jordy as Mother and Daughter. They kissed and we all laughed.
Then a few minutes later, Jordy turns to me and says: “Dad, do you take Ella to be you awful wedding daughter?”
Love that kid!
So last night over dinner we were discussing world events, and global warming came up. Meg andI I were discussing what global warning was, when Chelsea interrupts and boldly claims there is “no such thing!”
“What? Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Because every time I go into the movie theatre in Morristown, I’m always freezing!”
Wow.
When the school year ended, Jordy brought her writing journal home for us to read. Among a lot of other highlights was this little gem:
So tonight we’ve been planning Jordy’s movie birthday party and have been going through her guest list which includes her whole class except three kids.
With this in mind we went through the list of kids she didn’t want to come and asked her to tell us why they weren’t invited. Here’s how the conversation went – the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Jimmy – “Well, he talks all the time. He talks in class, so maybe he’ll talk to during the movie.”
Ian – “Sometimes in class he’s mean to me.”
Frank – “Well … he farts. He farts in class even. So I don’t want him farting during the movie. I don’t want people farting at my party.”
I told the girls last week that I would be traveling for work on the weekend. Their individual reactions to the news captured their personalities perfectly.
Chelsea: “How long will you be gone for Daddy?” She asked with genuine concern. She likes to know plans in advance so she can prepare her heart for me leaving – she’s very attached.
Jordy: She burst into tears. Not real tears – just tears. She took this opportunity to practice her crying-on-cue skills. A minute later she was playing dolls again.
Ella: She just threw both hands up and yelled: “Yes! Girl’s night!”
Meg and I took the girls on a trip to the Canadian city of Montreal last week. We were surprised – and excited – to see the city is completely French – signs, newspapers, ATMs, people … everything is in French.
So naturally, whenever we met a new person – hotel staff, tour guide, waiter etc – they would always start by saying in a thick French accent; “bonjour!”
For the first handful of times that happen, Jordy, 7, replied with an enthusiastic “Hola!”
When I explained to her that hola was Spanish and these people spoke French, she wanted to know how to say hello in French. “Bonjour” I told her.
“Got it Dad!”
A few minutes later a waiter came over and greeted us with “bonjour!”
Jordy, in a loud voice, said: “Banjo” and walked passed him like she was all that!
Jordy told us tonight that whenever music comes on she has to “hold on tight to something” because the music makes her dance. Here’s what happened tonight when she wasn’t holding on:
So we had a nerf gun
During the course of the fighting, I shot Jordyn in her 7-ear-old crotch. She burst into tears and yelled: “Dad! You shot me in the penis!”
I responded in the most appropriate way – I laughed! I then thought I should correct her so I being a thoughtful dad, I took her to her mum and asked her to explain.
“Jordy,” Meg said. “You don’t have a penis honey. You have a vagina.”
“Mum! Jordy exclaimed. “That word is disgusting!”
“What? Vagina?”
“Yes! That’s just gross.”
Maybe I’m wrong … but I was kinda proud of her.
My Kids Crack Me Up 